|This is a Humour article. All will not be forgiven.|
This a list of events that occur in Ace Combat: 52 Pickup.
- The first bird begins to fly...
- A certain retarded species called Humeans begain to walk the surface of Narth.
- Some dude called Leonard Doh Vinny studies the flight of birds and lays the foundations of human flight.
- The Small Ozone War begins.
- The Small Ozone War ends.
- The Very Big Ozone War begins.
- The XP-96 Sparrow-Hawk is created by Macintyre Appliances Co.
- The Very Big Ozone War ends.
- The Bigger Ozone War begins.
- The Cod War begins and never ends.
- The 12 day, 16 Minute Oran War begins and ends.
- Gandrake Fortinbras, after the 12 day, 16 minute Oran War ends, buys out the Remaining stock in Macintyre Appliances and hunts down Joey Macintyre the last major shareholder and proceeds to shoot him the head as a result Fortinbras forms Mandrake Heavy Consumer Products.
- George Lucas's Star Wars begins showing in theaters around the world, starting a war for absolutely no reason whatsoever. George Lucas finds this hilarious for some reason, and eventually makes five 5 more movies to starts wars for his amusement.
- The Norris Law Review causes tension in the Chuck Federation.
- Mandrake Heavy Consumer Products buys out O-Hagi Zaibastu for six Osean Zollars.
- Hailstorm Kills 89 in Kaluga, turned out a cargo shipment of baseballs dropped from a C-5B were the cause.
- A Massive Near-Narth Asteroid Sized Chin, called Sentinel Minor/Prime/Magnus, is detected approaching Narth. Multiple nations begin funding homo-erotic projects with the goal of intercepting the asteroid sized chin.
- Pensioner's conducts prescision strikes in the nation of Weilvakia and usurps control of the county chess club, the Weilvakian Air Force is deployed to handle the extreme pensioner's and after many hard fought chess match's the pensioner's are sent back to the Edlerly home in body bags.
- The Not So Great Baka War begins and ends; the Allied Forces are lead to victory by the legendary "Demon Lord of the Square Table".
- Tis the Season a 1996 horror film written and directed by John A. Russo is releaaed and sends shockwaves across the entire planet Narth. It stars Debbie Rochon as a Scream Queen B-movie actress who is stalked by an obsessed fan called Santa Claws who was created to stop the Massive Near-Narth Asteroid Sized Chin.
- A massive rock concert to commemorate the 1969 Hillport rock festival begins in Isea. Ends in deployment of special forces and air assets. Nine Inch Nails plays the song Starf**ers Inc while gunfights and mass looting break out. Baka is blamed for it somehow.
- The Bakan's Wall Of Rage falls down because of Regan "Regan sleepy...".
- Baka loses to FATSO in the World Cup, Starts a 190 hour war between the two nations. It ends with Baka getting its A$$ kicked hard.
- The Bigger Ozone War ends.
- The Even Bigger Ozone War begins and Ends; Bakan rebel leader (and part-time comedian) "Smart" Alec Felsen flees in shame.
- The Bigger Than The Previous Ozone War begins.
- The Erustyian spaceplane E-ASS Jormundgandr is deployed, but is destroyed when it gets "struck by Lightning".
- Santa Claws the final device intended to intercept the Massive Near-Narth Asteroid Sized Chin, is destroyed.
- Wedefyphysics Industries, in close cooperation with Godmodding Incorporated created the I-4M A-NO/0B Megakiller.
- The Super War happen in which all of Baka was vaporized.