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"C'mon lets do this bullsh--! Lets go! LETS GET THIS BULLSH--!!!"

-"Smart" Alec Felsen flying the ADF-0-2-1 Failen


FAILEN!!!

The ADF-0-2-1 Failen Firin its lazar!!!

Though the name suggests a total failure, the plane itself was ANYTHING but a failure. In fact, it was the most epic plane ever concieved (except for the I-4M A-NO/0B Megakiller), and was the only plane in Belka's arsenal that could match the seemingly invincible Hellhawk Megakiller. It was flown by "Smart" Alec Felsen, and proved to be a HUGE annoyance to the enemy, although its DEVELOPMENT was, in all sense of the word, fail, with a capital "PH".



It was developed by Grounder Industries scientist Dimm Schidt, Ph(ail).D, on a bet to build the most rediculous, overcomplicated, overpowered and most lol-worthy plane ever. After selling his soul for a nickel (but it was SHINY), guzzling enough booze to make even the most hardened alcoholic never want to drink beer again, shootin himself up with a million vials of herion and screwing twenty random prostitutes that later robbed him blind, he finally got around to putting the design on paper, but his nephew, the famous comedian-turned-fighter pilot "Smart" Alec Felsen doodled the Shoop-Da-Whoop face all over the diagrams, rendering them unreadable. However, the Doc was too wasted to care, and so grabbed a hammer, nails and a chainsaw before driving out to wipe out a forest for his building materials.

A working prototype was completed sometime in 2016, and was made entirely of wood, but unfortunatly the engines powering it set it on fire and blew it up. After recovering from his burns and smiking a joint, Doctor Schidt was able to build a new one out of the parts of an old pick-up truck, a half-destroyed Leopard Tank, his grandma's trailer and all the cans from every six-pack of beer he drank since turning twenty-one. Surprisingly enough, it worked, and when test flown by the Doctor, he blasted a hole in his mom's house (she favored his older brother over him for a reason) and then (somehow) accidentally shot down Weilvakia's "Joint Thunder". His comment on the flight: "Aw dammit! I forgot to blow up the retirement home!" He promptly passed out afterwards.

As for "Smart" Alec Felsen, he flew the plane only once over Dim's March during the Even Bigger Ozone War. However, for some f---ed up reason, the Shoop-Da-Woop LAZAR backfired on him and he spun out of control and crashed, yelling "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-----" The whole way down.


Specifications

Speed: Half the Speed of Smell

Mobility: Tight Enough to Hit the Broadside of a Barn

Defense: Depends on how much booze the pilot's had

Stability: What stability? XD

Air-to-Air: SHOOP-DA-WHOOP!!!

Air-to-Ground: Phail

Spility (WTF!?): No, I don't know what this means either

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